The Reluctant Giver  You rush out at the last minute, picking up items at the nearest store. When friends or family members open their packages, you’ re likely to make excuses:“I’ m so busy I didn’t have time to really shop.” Or“I just couldn’t find the right thing for you .” You may even blame the recipient:“You never told me what you wanted.

Typical Gifts  Drugstore no-name perfume, a tin of cookies from the supermarket, a holiday plant.

Your Massage “I can’t be bothered.” You may simply be disorganized: you mean well, but can’t get your act together in time to think about more personal choice. Or you may be a perfectionist, so worried you’ ll make the wrong choice that you essentically don’t make any choice at all.(Or you just may be self-centered, unaware that your indifference can hurt others’ feelings!)

There’s a whole separate group in this category, too—those who view gift giving as materialistic or believe that it trivializes a relationship.

Caution  We live in a society where exchanging presents is an important part of human interaction. If you’ re genuinely offered by commercialism at the holidays, tell your friends ahead of time(not when they’re handing a beautifully wrapped box) and suggest “no gift” get-togethers. Or danated what you’d all spend to a charity.

 

礼品盒中的信息

 

   不情愿的送礼者  你在最后一分钟跑出去，在最近的商店随便买些物品。当朋友或家人打开包装时，你可能会找借口说：“我太忙了，没时间好好购物。”或说：“我真的找不到合适的东西送你。”你甚至可能责备受礼者：“你从未告诉过我你想要什么。”

   典型礼物  杂货店里不知名的香水；超市里的一罐饼干；一种假日花草。

   你的信息  “我不能被打扰。”你可能只是没有条理：你本意是好的，但却无法及时去考虑更多的个人选择。或者你可能是个完美主义者，由于担心作出错误选择就干脆不做任何选择。（或者你可能是只顾自己，没有意识到你的随便可能伤害到他人的感情。）

    在这一类人中，也有一个完全不同的群体--他们把赠送礼品视为功利，或者认为它会使某种关系变得浅薄。

   告诫  我们生活在一个以交换礼物为人际互动的重要部分的社会。忽视传统，并不会让它远离你。如果你真正被假日的商业味惹怒，那就提前告诉你的朋友（不是当他们递给你一个包装精美的盒子时），并且建议举行“不送礼物”的聚会。或者将你要买礼物的钱都捐赠给慈善机构。